Evolving Retirement

While waiting for sleep at night I often review my day's activities.  Some days I am kind of critical of my activities or lack of activities.  Some days I review the things I want to do in the coming days, listing possible projects that I have in my head for future action.
The concept of having the freedom to go anyway I wish is still new with me.  I have lived most of my life with a schedule that dictated my daily activities and a 'school' schedule that had a yearly cycle.
Most people don't have the 'school cycle' lifestyle of teachers.  We have 9 1/2 months of intense work in which you have a limited time to move children along on their education timeline and then turn them over to the next year, regardless of how far you managed to 'move' them on this continuum. It is definitely a  cyclical schedule.  The end of the school year arrives, you have 'completed' your year of work but know that your work is only partially done.  You now need to turn the children over to the next teacher and ready your mind for a new batch.
Summer allowed me to convert my mindset.  As the summer began, I would spend the first few weeks relaxing and winding down.  Then I would have a few weeks of relaxation, time to read and enjoy doing what ever I wished.  Then the end of summer comes and I would spend the month of August gearing back up for another year.  The 'school year' schedule has been a part of ALL of my life since I was 5 years old.  I think it has been 'imprinted' on my brain.
I am just finishing the 3rd year of my retirement as the school year ends.  I have managed to keep that schedule 'embedded' in my life by continuing to volunteer in the school. I really enjoy that part of my life and the rewards it brings to me.  I know that Molly is always so thankful for my bi-weekly appearances in the afternoons and I enjoy the contact with the children.
However, I am still working on this retirement in my mind.  It is the unending 'freedom' that sometimes catches me off guard.  Like I said earlier, most of us have a schedule in our lives that keeps us focused.  Being without that schedule is a dream for many people, probably more so for people that find it easier to expand their life.  I remember being worried before retirement about living a life full of purpose in this next phase of life. That part of me is still evolving.
So, as I lay there at night, waiting for sleep, I wonder if my life has been full of purpose today, what will I do tomorrow, and what is the right purpose for me in my life.
Evolving, that is what I call it.
Now family, don't worry.  I am just evolving not depressed.  I am happy.  I have a blessed life.  I enjoy my quilting and reading and volunteering.  I enjoy my freedom.  I enjoy my husband and my life.  Just like always as a human, I am reassessing and changing all be it slowly.  I do wish I had some ability to change things that I can't change.  I wish that I lived closer to my family so that I could just drop by and  'chat', babysit or teach a sewing project to a new learner.
Evolving and growing.
 Who knew that you had to keep doing that all of your life???   I am thankful that I am able to explore the evolving life I have.  Many people of the world don't have the freedom to live as examined of a life that we do here in the United States.  Their lives are full just trying to live their life.
Evolving.  I will continue to evolve.

A blesssing to all of you that made it this far in reading my post.